委屈是重禍之源，是所有煩惱的代表�。�雙語(yǔ)開(kāi)示）

　　我們生活中的煩惱、仇恨、賭氣、顛覆都來(lái)自委屈。委屈是重禍之源，是所有煩惱的代表。委屈是個(gè)大問(wèn)題，它具有很大的隱蔽性，平時(shí)不容易察覺(jué)到，但它是所有煩惱的引爆器。

　　Worries, hatred, pique, subversion, etc., what confront us in our life, all come from grievance. Grievance is the source of all the misfortunes, and can represent all the worries, and therefore is a big problem. It is invisible for it usually underlies something, but it is a fuse that may detonate all the worries.

　　所有不健康的作為都來(lái)自委屈。像習(xí)慣上的不適應(yīng)、物質(zhì)上的不滿(mǎn)足、人與人之間的誤解與對(duì)立、不能承擔(dān)的責(zé)任等等，太多太多的原因都會(huì)造成委屈，我們一定要有方法去面對(duì)它、解決它。

　　All the unhealthy acts come from it, like that one cannot adapt himself habitually to something, or cannot be satisfied materially, or like the misunderstanding or opposition between people, or the failure to take responsibilities, etc. So a method is a must to deal with it and to solve it.

　　我們可以從親人、朋友、同事、孩子等各個(gè)角度去審視委屈。比如，孩子在學(xué)校經(jīng)常被人欺負(fù)，遭受極大的委屈，原因是在家里對(duì)父母指手畫(huà)腳慣了，經(jīng)常要求這要求那，養(yǎng)成了習(xí)慣，對(duì)自己的言行舉止不能夠負(fù)起責(zé)任。在親人面前還好，一旦把這些習(xí)慣帶到學(xué)校，就很容易遭到別人的欺負(fù)，甚至是集體的欺負(fù)，這樣的孩子基本上會(huì)變得越來(lái)越委屈。所以，要讓孩子學(xué)會(huì)自強(qiáng)，主動(dòng)幫助別人，尊重、愛(ài)護(hù)別人，而不是自私，讓別人這樣、那樣。從小培養(yǎng)孩子獨(dú)立作為，學(xué)會(huì)對(duì)自己的作為承擔(dān)責(zé)任。

　　We can observe it from many different perspectives, like the relation between family members, friends, colleagues or children, etc. For example, a child is often bullied at school and suffers enormous grievance. The reason is that he has developed the habit of ordering others about, often asking for this and that, and being irresponsible for his acts and words. It is acceptable among family members, but once he keeps this habit at school, he is very likely to be bullied by others or even by the whole class, with his grievance accumulated more and more. So we should educate our children to be independent, to be ready to help others and to respect others instead of being selfish or ill-mannered. Teach our children, from the time when they are very young, to live an independent life, and to learn to take responsibilities for what they have done.

　　父母一定不要以對(duì)孩子“好”為理由，什么事都給孩子做完了，剝奪了孩子成長(zhǎng)、作為的機(jī)會(huì)，這是對(duì)孩子最大的不尊重。越對(duì)孩子“好”，孩子就會(huì)對(duì)這個(gè)“好”記憶深刻，一旦有個(gè)“不好”就會(huì)有極大的落差，會(huì)導(dǎo)致斷崖式的不滿(mǎn)、叛逆等作為。所謂對(duì)孩子“好”，結(jié)果其實(shí)是害了孩子，大人和孩子都會(huì)感到委屈。

　　Parents mustn’t do everything for children under the disguise of doing good to them. Otherwise you are actually depriving your children of the opportunity to grow up by themselves. It is the most disrespect attitude towards your children. The more you do ‘good’ to your children (they will be favorably impressed by it as for sure), the bigger the gap will be when someone do ‘bad’ to them. Accordingly, their dissatisfaction and rebellion can be as drastic as falling off a cliff. The so-called doing good to children is actually doing bad to them. As a result, both parents and children will suffer the grievance.

　　同樣，夫妻、朋友、同事相處久了，總會(huì)有莫名其妙的不舒服、別扭等等。一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的積累之后，委屈、不滿(mǎn)就會(huì)爆發(fā)出來(lái)。這些委屈的理由十分多，有習(xí)慣性的、環(huán)境影響的、記憶性的、知識(shí)性的，包括一個(gè)正見(jiàn)都會(huì)帶來(lái)煩惱——拿個(gè)正見(jiàn)去套別人，強(qiáng)化自己是正確的，認(rèn)為別人怎么不正見(jiàn)，以至于心中不平，就會(huì)有委屈。

　　The same applies to the relationship between a couple, friends or colleagues, etc. After long time of accompany, you may always feel somewhat uncomfortable, or uneasy, etc.. Little by little, it accumulates into grievances till your dissatisfaction breaks out one day. Many things account for the grievances: habit, environment, memory, knowledge, or even right view. When you judge others from your personal”right view”, insisting that you are right and wondering why they don’t follow your right view, such dissatisfaction will lead to grievance.

　　委屈的積累會(huì)使小問(wèn)題變成大問(wèn)題，大問(wèn)題會(huì)導(dǎo)致破壞性、顛覆性的作為。像一個(gè)人平時(shí)對(duì)人表現(xiàn)得很謙讓?zhuān)�但�?nèi)心又不夠充盈，常給自己帶來(lái)壓力或負(fù)擔(dān)，因不清晰這些作為與內(nèi)心不符的虛偽性。開(kāi)始會(huì)感覺(jué)有說(shuō)不清楚的別扭，后來(lái)慢慢就會(huì)有壓抑、不滿(mǎn)、委屈，一旦積累成多，就會(huì)有破壞性或者顛覆性的作為發(fā)生，所以我們要引起重視與警覺(jué)。

　　With the accumulation of grievance, a minor problem will turn out to be a big problem, which will lead to destructive or subversive acts. For example, someone who seems to be very modest but without inner enrichment, often bring pressure and burden to himself. He is unclear about his hypocrisy, i.e., the inconsistency between his acts and his heart. At first, he may feel somewhat uncomfortable, and then little by little, he may feel pressured, dissatisfied and wronged. Once these feelings accumulate to some extend, destructive or subversive acts will occur. So we should pay attention to and be alert to it.

學(xué)會(huì)調(diào)整 Learn to adjust.

　　首先要學(xué)會(huì)調(diào)整。把破壞性、顛覆性的事情調(diào)整為大問(wèn)題，再把大問(wèn)題調(diào)整成小問(wèn)題或者沒(méi)問(wèn)題。真誠(chéng)、如實(shí)很重要，遇到別扭、不舒服，就主動(dòng)問(wèn)問(wèn)自己：是不是自己的作為不如實(shí)了，超出了自己能承擔(dān)的范圍了？在心地上可以發(fā)心為他人，但實(shí)際作為上要先解決自己的問(wèn)題。自己真是充盈了，有足夠的空間了，再去根據(jù)別人的需要，給人以幫助或支持；不以對(duì)別人“好”來(lái)為難自己，造成負(fù)累、委屈——做自己愿意做并能承擔(dān)的事，無(wú)怨無(wú)悔，不給自己與他人壓力。

　　Firstly, we should learn to adjust, like adjusting destructive or subversive problems to be big ones, and big ones to be minor ones or none. Sincere and authentic attitude is important at this moment. When we feel uncomfortable or uneasy, ask ourselves first if what we try to achieve is not what we are truly willing to do, or beyond our abilities.You can make a wish to help others from your heart，but in terms of taking action, you should solve your own problems first. Only when your heart is rich and free enough to have space for others, you can offer help or support to others according to their need. Don’t have your kindness press yourself too hard, otherwise you will get burdened or wronged. Do what you are willing to and able to do, with nothing to be complained of or regretted. Impose no pressure on others as well as on yourself.

不猜測(cè)別人 Don’t guess others’ thoughts.

　　不猜測(cè)別人。人與人之間的思想意識(shí)差別很大，我們很難通過(guò)猜測(cè)別人的需求去滿(mǎn)足他人。要想讓別人滿(mǎn)足自己，或者自己去滿(mǎn)足別人，或者平衡每個(gè)人的需要，都太難了——只有自己才能滿(mǎn)足自己。自己滿(mǎn)足了，有空間了，才能輕松、喜悅地為他人做力所能及的事情，這樣可以遠(yuǎn)離別扭、不滿(mǎn)與委屈。

　　Don’t guess others’ thoughts, for minds are dramatically different among individuals and it is difficult for us to satisfy others’ need by guessing. It’s too difficult to have others satisfy yourself or have yourself satisfy others, and it’s also difficult to balance different individuals’ need. Only you can satisfy yourself. Only when you are satisfied, will you have the leeway to do something for others while feeling easy and happy. Thus you can distance yourself from discomfort, dissatisfaction and grievance.

有清晰的愿望 Your wish is clear.

　　每個(gè)生命都會(huì)有委屈，唯有清晰的愿望才能真正徹底地解決委屈。愿望清晰了心就明亮了，心明亮了就可以照耀委屈的黑暗，識(shí)破委屈的本質(zhì)。愿望是順本質(zhì)而立的，是順性的，隨順圓滿(mǎn)清凈的、本質(zhì)的作用力就能徹底處理委屈的現(xiàn)象——這樣一個(gè)常常伴隨我們生命的、特別粘著的問(wèn)題。

　　Each individual life will suffer from grievance, and only a clear wish can solve it thoroughly. When your wish is clear, your heart is bright and a bright heart can shine on the darkness brought by the grievance so as to see through the grievance and attain its essence. A wish is made by following the essence,or the common nature. By following the force of perfect and pure essence, we can thoroughly solve problems like grievance, a sticky problem often following us in our life.

　　讓我們嘗試著用心愿去照耀委屈，解決委屈——因?yàn)樾脑甘敲鞔_的，有璀璨的光明。心愿是徹底的，就有圓滿(mǎn)的作用力，心愿是順性的，就有清凈的洗禮，這些作用力會(huì)在各個(gè)角度中展現(xiàn)出來(lái)。讓愿望作主，令愿望發(fā)光，不要讓委屈淹沒(méi)了自己的愿望，要不然委屈會(huì)遍布整個(gè)生活的細(xì)節(jié)。

　　We should try to solve grievance, by having our wish shine on it, for our wish is clear and bright. Our wish is thorough, so it has the perfect force. Our wish follows the common nature, so it has purifying effect. Such force can play its role in every aspect of life. Have your wish to lead and shine. Don’t have your grievance overwhelm your wish, otherwise your grievance will spread over every corner of your whole life.

來(lái)自慈法法師的『生命之光 · 陽(yáng)光早餐』

The Light of Life Sunshine Breakfast

原標(biāo)題：委屈的危害 [ 中英對(duì)照 ]

文章轉(zhuǎn)自微信公眾號(hào)：菩提眼